eeek!

my homies are disappearing man! taken out of commission dude. it just aint right.
so to my 2 remaining readers-the ones i know about
seriously on the last post, the only comment on there forever, and it took forever for there to be one, was about some porn site.
have you ever been swept off your feet, knocked backwards, taken unawares, filled with wonder, flabbergasted.
jeff buckley lyrics: "i feel unsteady"
it took me a long time to admit this to myself, nevermind follow through into practice, but i really do like it when things are 'just so.' granted my 'just so' is very different from some other people's.
i like to know what's going on, to have everything settled, any issue resolved, no questions left unanswered. especially when it comes to my heart.
i know i know it doesnt work that way. gotta take risks and all that.
in a way im happy, happy to know that there are people out there i can admire, ive just lost so much respect for the leaders of this world, the willful ignorance of others (heard the song "bush is right" by some country band in tennesee? tennesee (i know its spelled wrong) the state that couldve put a man from there into office, and the money that woulda rolled into that state as a result . . . )
and i could go on and on.
if the time's not right, geographical problems exist, whats one to do? say fuck it, and jump? simply enjoy the memories created, shelve away for rainy days, use as evidence to stop self from becoming cynical or bitter?
my grandmother mcdonnell believed in the gift of time. to visitors while she was in hospital, upon their departure, she would always say, "thank you for your time."
in this crazed 24 hour world, time is a valuable commodity. and so maybe i should be grateful for time well spent. and not to worry about whether or not it will happen again because it can never be recreated. it can be better or worse, but this past weekend will not ever happen again.
even if time travel were an option (physicists, whats going on?) i would make it different because of my knowledge, and so it would change everything, possibly the outcome.
read this really interesting article about prof geoff raisman, who believes he is close to a cure for spinal cord injury.
have been messing around on the internet all morning, hey its been a while, and now ive really got to get moving. the sun's decided to show her face after all-this morning it was miserable, and im on the bike.