im mad

but thats ok. i just wanted to put a proper pic instead of the undoubtedly adorable dog in place for my profile but apparently my picture has too many kb or whatever. argh
so continuing my love/hate hate relationship with computers
really i do think its very unnatural to sit in front of a screen, in a chair, typing away. what part of our evolution in the past 10,000 years brought us here? yeah?
we are still supposed to be hunter/gatherers. it took evolution a long time to get to bi-pedal apes. lucy (the most recently found), dated 1.4 million years old

do you need to be able to walk? if the crucial part of your day is spent sitting on your ass, looking through eyes
(that are horrible vision-wise, apparently to make more space for the brain??)
typing away,
after which you transfer your ass to your car,
(while driving regardless of auto/stick), use your eyes, feet like twice, and arms,
then walk yourself a couple yards, less if you've a garage,
then move your ass to your couch, where you'll eat your dinner in front of the tv
and retire to bed

seriously if you have a desk job, a good parking spot, a car ride to and from work, one of those garages that leads straight into your house,
i dare ya to wear a pedometer.
even if ya got a shitty parking spot, doubt its over a mile a day, including trips to the break room-distance bit greater if ya a smoker as they mostly insist you go outside, however, that distance is subtracted for the damaging effects of the cig.
obviously technology has bypassed our biology by centuries. in no way could i explain to my grandparents the reasons why i need to run on a treadmill like a guinea pig. great-grandparents?
so when people look at me and inform me that im the freak (?) cause i like to run 'long distance' or 3+ miles
?
don't get me started on the expressions and comments i get when i talk about running marathons
are we really that biologically/physically different from the greeks? is there a reason why we shouldnt be able to run for 26 miles?
how many men today resemble da vinci's picture?
and why not? its not a picture of some pumped-up-gym-steroid-freak. they'd no supplements, no personal trainers, no training scheldule, no knowledge of what the muscles were even called!! cannot see lorenzo saying, yo pietro lets work our triceps today. wheres the six pack?
would lose horribly today in one of those scary men with the 'way-too-big-muscle-fake-tan-body-oil' competitions.
so this rants gotta end.

Spontaneous Arising

Spontaneous Arising

its over!

ok so while you all gobble some turkey and ok turkey is gross
hence my general reluctance while stateside to celebrate that particular thursday. i do though think its a great idea, to simply say thanks blah blah
but!! of more importance
anyone who has watched newlyweds, whether against their will, or no,
jessica and nick are no more
it was sooo against my will, 10 channels, pouring rain outside, bored outta my mind . . .
and im sad that i even know this. tv and celeb gossip in general is such fun, so easy,
so forgettable. unlike the other stuff i read.
right so eat up, enjoy that game where they wear padding-personally still tryin to get over
the all blacks and the aussies taking such advantage of the irish
i mean is there a such thing in american football as a spearhead tackle?
happy thanksgiving!

we were soldiers

i never was a soldier,
but everyone should see this movie:

we were soldiers
the story behind it
granted i found this on the web, i stick with the story it tells

i just watched the movie again. ended up in tears sobbing (again)

before i say anything else, i acknowledge and appreciate that im in a position where its very easy to judge; im white, female, upper middle class, im 25, im never going to war. that simple. all i can do is watch movies, read books, and try to guess/empathize about something i'll never know.


lord knows there's been a hundred and one vietnam movies, but this one is different.
for the time it spends on the experience of the vietcong, and for the time it spends on the experiences of the wives.
for me that made it more human and real (?), not just a firefight, but a fight against men, men who had wives, and families.
men who were in the war, because they were the right age and healthy. not necessarily because they were meant to be warriors.

how many poets, artists, writers, teachers were lost?

so i cried and cried watching this movie. what made me sadder was,
what did these men die for? yes theres a wall in dc. what for?
such a wall should change the world, teach us
however, the 'great war' would teach humanity about war,
WW2 was supposed to have been the final word
in illustrating the boundaries of human cruelty.
yet? what have we NOT let happen in the years since?

i grew up with this really naive idea
i remember seeing the berlin wall come down, end of the cold war and
all that good stuff. so i thought hey maybe, thats it, no more conflicts,
maybe no one i know will ever have to fight,
maybe i'll never feel torn,
maybe it is all going to be alright.
maybe we are evolving, and progressing
to this new point in the 21st century
where all of these issues will seem so dated;
such as war, organized religion, etc

backlash has been bad

journo in the movie says to mel gibson-character,
i dont know how to tell this story,
mel gibson-guy says,
you have to, you have to tell the story of my boys.
cause thats how he saw them, as his own.
when did it become ok for generals to email in their orders?
i mean really, wasn't there a time in warfare when to be a proper general, you were the one leading the charge? or was that just 'braveheart' romanticism?

again im commenting on something i know little about,
but there's gotta be a difference between sending yourself into battle,
your son into battle, and some kid.

oh so aoife you were watching a movie about vietnam and so thought of iraq.
well no. and yes. different situation.
however some basics, what are people dying for?
what are they dying for? oil? democracy?
ok and there politics start to show
but still, what is this bloodshed i read about everyday in the paper about? why?
somewhere mentally we made it ok for __ people to die in iraq? daily?

why can't diplomacy rule? versus bodycounts?
i don't know, much easier to critique and comment if not involved
its so easy to do; like a game of hide and seek,
the leg is sticking out under the curtain, there she is!
end to a rambling, probably very boring post is,
i can only hope that this age does not create its own 'we were soldiers'

when the time comes

now i wouldnt want to end up in a nursing home but if i had to, id want to go to st. mary's ok? i really loved the quote about how the patients were no longer 'bored to death.' it sounds fab. just for future reference.
on that cheery note, i was watching this dire program on tv about this kid who had mad cow disease, and he's had no change in brain function for the past 3 years, and he doesnt move, do anything, just sits/lays with his eyes closed, drooling on himself, and everything else that goes along with it. and theres no way, i mean what is he being kept alive for? i think who might be the more pertinant question. i dont think id want to live with any kind of brain damaage. or serious spinal cord injury. anyway i could ramble on about the reasons why for that forever, and its bedtime. ta ta for now

yeay

the puppy shows up now on me blog! shite i might kinda sorta have an idea of how to do this. but really, dog's smilin back at ya
i want one sooo bad
so on a kick to get one til boring fuck (bf from now on) says,
but are you ready to take care of something for 15 years?
hell yeah labs normally only make it to 13.
no really. im not that morbid and i adore dogs.
we finally had to let grady go at 17, v old for a lab.
she was great. i wish she or one of her's was around to help me with a puppy, when we'd get one, grady would always educate them. did alot of the work for us
and then her mam, lady was her name,
beautiful golden lab,
protected me like i was one of her own, wouldnt let people near me till she'd decided they were ok.
theres a great picture somewhere of me sitting underneath her.
rambling on here, but will always stick by the idea that dogs and little kids, are the best judges of character.
they just know
how is that ive become so enthralled with the exterior, the money, cars, clothes, makeup and
and when did being a good person stop being something?
the little people and dogs. they know.

oh my

so ok i finally got the cutest dog ever to be a part of my profile or whatever, but i still cant get it to just come up on screen
its just a huskie smilin
collective awhh
ok so i really do love animals annie! i never disliked them, just picky. the little ones, em, big uh-uh. no.
last night me bro was going on about the ladies yapping, and i had to correct him cause the only thing that does that is a jack russell terrier. spelling? anyways so
per usual im wide awake, everyone else is in bed or something, tho i think gal #1 came down cause gal #2 maybe was busy. wit my cousin, eww gross.
but im just making up shit as i go along. really. i love how people sometimes think
that i'd know the answer,
thus asking me the most bizarre questions,
and as ive this dislike of disappointing folk, id make shit up.
then lucy finally caught on. damn her.
how is she? cause i havent heard from her in like 10 ages. (long time)
if love can be sent across a broadband wire . . .
i cant believe its november and
soon im supposed to go christmas shopping. it just seems all so stressful, i'd much rather have a celebration, mid-jan like, after the sales,
where ya pick out all the stuff you really wanted but didnt get,
and yes my b-day this year is on a friday. the 13th. ignore at your own peril ;)
as if i would curse people who didnt get me birthday presents!!
no school till the 16th. im so going to have a good b-day for once.
normally, always, in fact, in school.
enough rambling, but do get demon days, gorillaz, great cd
much love

Some thing I probably never told you

I probably never told you about the time I decided to commit suicide. My plan was to swim out into the ocean and keep swimming until I got too tired, then I would drown. I went shopping for a bathing suit. If your going to go you've got to have at least be found in something reasonably attractive. I had a fantasy that my body would be found by a crew of handsome lifegaurds. One would weep over me and say 'she was so young, she was so beautiful,,,, I don't know I could have loved her,,Idon't know'. But on that day I just couldn't find any bathing suit that I really liked ,, so I abandoned my plans. Never know next time maybe they'll have something nice.

irish blogs

in a moment of boredom i was wandering around blogland and i found a whole subset of irish blogs. the best was one that quoted some idiot in a newspaper waxing on about how irish blogs are poetic. due to our inherent scribbling ability, way with words, the same ole . . . . . . most were political, ranting and raving about the various topics of the day which made me feel quite shallow. yes bertie defending the church's role in education was disappointing well no, to be disappointed you have to have expectations, but really i cannot read/think much more about the ferns report

and i wish i could do that whole thing where what you type is highlighted and if you click on it, it brings you to a website which could explain all this, but thats for another day.

part of the reason ive been in front of this computer for way too long is the weather. i am thrilled ive friends in nice sunny rain-free locations (bitch)
but today i was literally almost blown over by the wind and then by some weird meterological thing, i managed to be cycling against the wind no matter what direction i went. i felt like eeyore, with the rain cloud+gale force winds following me
due to a missing left contact lens which makes depth perception difficult, (fun to play with when you're drunk, where's the path/step?) ive been surviving on glasses. with all the people wearing lenses whats up with the lens unfriendly sinks?
anyways glasses are grand even though i feel like a librarian. except for when it rains. and its dark. and im cycling. i love that my glasses have lenses made of glass but downside to their relative thinness is that you need glass cleaning stuff to clean them.

random complaint. whats the deal with people informing me of their perfect 20-20 vision. even better are the ones who declare they have better than 20-20. is it to rub it in? declare their superiority?

back to the weather thing, id someone else going on to me about how strange it was to have 75 degree weather. strange? im unbelievably jealous. in reality i dont mind the cold weather, kinda even like fall; the whole leaves changing colour, winter and the idea that nature's gone underground in preparation for a new start.
but this lack of daylight, or just lack of sunlight, drives me mental, around the bend like, and it hasnt even gotten to the worst point, where it gets dark around 3-4pm. also im a firm believer if it isnt bright outside, i shouldnt be awake; dawn gets later too.

so im rambling on about the weather which is perhaps the most boring subject ever, the top small talk topic, and the one that kinda makes your heart sink when someone starts in on it, cause i mean where can it go? oh what, shock, horror, you like it when its sunny and hot too? why cant we walk up to strangers and ask them when is torture ok? or if we all seem to prefer sunny weather, why on earth are we determined to try and live in northern europe? if the weather is so bad, why stay in ireland? what ties people to this country?

poor eoin. so he's havin a party tonite, he told people around 9. its almost 10. and he's like there's no one here. i give myself as an example, tell me 9, i'll be there at 11 on the dot. he even cleaned. i hope it turns out to be fun. im just not really in an anything mood, couldnt even shift my ass to go out on a friday, nevermind be sociable with people coming over to my house. here we go back on that subject but the weather really wiped me out. walking in the front door, beaten down by the wind, soaked by the rain, the last thing i want to do is leave, or be nice to anyone.
so the grumpy old woman is going to shut up, the party after all being in honor of people who just turned 20 and 24 respectively. so cute at that age!

and the wall came down

16 years. deedaw was just a tiny baby. not the girl taller than me now (how is that fair? im the oldest!) crazy to think about. where we'll be 16 on from now.
so so should be asleep but on weird late nite kick, this is my time of day. plus as it gets dark around 5pm, day and night are becoming kinda blurry. especially if its overcast all day. is it dawn, daytime, or twilight?
enough whining already. plus have been frantically searching the internet, studying cirrhosis at the moment and yes its number one cause. if you dont already, please go get the hepB vaccine, cause viruses are the secondmost common cause of cirrhosis.
and ok 21 units per week? 1 unit=1/2 beer=1 (small) glass of wine=1 shot
21 shots v. 10 beers?
500ml can of Heineken, 4.3% alcohol, 750ml bottle wine, 13%
someone else do the math
had fab weekend, went with bro to see colin murphy, comedian, my 1st comedy show. it was hilarious, even though ticketmaster had us pay 20euro for standing room only tickets. i mean they coulda specified especially since i woulda dressed way more appropriately shoewise. not to matter though. we'd originally planned on heading home after cause bro wasn't feeling too well and i had such grand plans for saturday and then somehow ended up not doing that. imagine. helped paint on saturday, oh my god the view, the appartments right on the quays overlooking the liffey. must encourage party for skyfest. then got to watch man u beat chelsea on sunday. i mean could you ask for more?
its now so thursday and i so belong in bed. ugh early lectures. hoping and praying for a clear day with little to no wind.
this is entirely randomn but yahoo messenger has gone too far! the recorded voices saying 'goodbye' and 'ive gotta go' are just too strange especially when you're just innocently typing along. and as for the whole smiley face things making lewd gestures? right defo bedtime ciao

people are strange

when you're a stranger
sorry just had that song stuck in my head
women seem wicked
ok gonna stop
so em well whats the deal? and i ask this to all you guys out there
cause i know like zero men who read this blog but really.
i dont get. no comprendo. je ne sais pas. you meet a boy, have a great time. spend a day together and thats a long time for me, especially for the ones i love, and then
you say call
or text or whatever the current way of indirectly communicating, i mean how far is texting from passing notes? check yes or no?
and i know this all sounds utterly ridiculous, if thats how you spell it, i read it and it sounds rid .. . , and yet
ok is this me being stupid?, another lost female?, but i thought
a connection was made,
i dont think it happens often,
it gets rarer and rarer as you get older
and screw all the other stuff but damnit i could use somebody like that
who could make me smile
just a smart man with pretty eyes who could make me laugh. the sad part being that my friends go through a much more hazardous screening process
(sorry)
moving on miracles do happen and dreams come true . . . ive been begging for a study desk since em well i moved here, and today in town passed by a furniture shop with 50% off, closing down sale, had to investigate
so see beautiful, perfect desk to finish my education on, (starting clinicals in january!!!!!!)
eoin makes a call, hi, yes mam, found a desk, can we get it, ok cool, bye.
now i have a desk. sorry bro but from now on im putting all my requests thru you ;)
would it sound fake if i was to say that i think thats great? im glad they have that?
all i can think of is cliches,
which brings me back to;
there are many people who reach their conclusions
about life like school boys,
they cheat their master by copying the answers out of a book
without having worked out the sum for themselves
understand the irony here, still please comment
one more, if you've read vanity fair (just finished, v. good, read it if you havent!)
becky sharp or amelia osbourne?
and, always an 'and,' have things really changed that much?