sufferin succotash

meh. some live science blog came out with the 7 most damaging or negative thoughts to have. shall i give my score?
i know what i need. i just can't get it. i know what does me more good than any of pills i've ever taken. but just as for those who the pills do work and they're not there in the morning-well it hasn't been there. my cabin fever is bad footpaths treacherous with ice. nevermind a good bracing run along the seafront to clear the mind, the heart.
i went away and i panicked. i did everything in my power to avoid, tried as hard as i could to miss the flight, sleep in, come back late from the breaks, be completely unreliable.
i was attending a conference, one i could have at one point gotten totally into. but that other part of my brain, those thoughts took over and made it exhausting and draining just sitting there.
so what is the solution? that was just 3 days. how am i supposed to return to school when that caused me so much stress. how am i supposed to go away on an elective to a completely different place and not fall apart. how do i not end up where i was last march.
and all i can hope is that if i just practice breathing. if i can somehow stop trying to multitask and just do one thing at once-because that's all we can ever really do.
meh.